Old Log3:
Friday 13/01/2006: Busy all day well into the night, worst friday 13th ever! >:-[ Anyway, I just took a minute here to let all of you who want/need to see me offline or In Real Life ( or IRL) as it has been called too, hehe. That I'm too busy this month to come outside. Expect to be seeing my irritating/charming presence again in February.
09/01/2006:So this weekend: I was no longer allowed in a bar because of a previous visit for drunk reasons i dont remember, but got back in later anyway. I was allmost attacked by a dog for "territory" related issues ( I can only guess territorial because a perfectly friendly dog started barking and later growling, showing teeth after i came from the bathroom. Trust me it was gonna bite, hahahha!!) I allmost got into a fight with some muslim, because i have a tendency to tell muslims they need to behave, especially among women. And since that scum has a "holy" assignment to be scum, those conversations tend to get a lil heated, hahaha! And ofcourse there was other things i just dont remember anymore. And the weekend before newyear and such, was also great but thats too long ago to properly remember, lol.
28/12/2005: My new myspace account was deleted AGAIN! And it had nothing offensive or anything it was just new!
Well, I allready got another new (empty) one up, hahaha fuck them myspacekikes! >:-[
27/12/2005: The new ultra Dark Evil Forum Theme has gone online, so I urge everybody to enlist now! (transl. join now!)
25/12/2005:Made a page with the latest pics of myself, I know this vulgar display of narcissism will upset a bunch of ppl. But I really dont care. And if ur a girl and like that stuff, feel free to send me yours, héhéhé. ;-)
Anyway here it is: Nephildevil pix page
And if you like me don't give a shit about xmass hypocrite gay fluffyness take a look at the real pagan origin. Yes mine freunds, xmass is based on Winter Solstice; a Heathen Sunwheel celebration shud be in order! No Christian wannabe jew shit!
21/12/2005:Myspace jerks! They deleted my account, I was right for not trusting them !! Check it out:
Your account has been deleted for violating our terms of service.
This is usually one of few things:
* nude images, sexually suggestive or violent photos
* covering our banner ads with HTML
* harassing other users
* you do not meet the minimum age requirement
* spamming the classifieds, forums, or bulletins
* attempting to artificially inflate scores
* scripting the site
If you choose to return to MySpace, please follow the rules. Thanks.
Your account can not be restored.
I did none of that shit, well maybe mildy suggesting violence, but who doesn't!!!! Anyway I might put up a new one, but i'll keep that one kinda empty probably, since my true personality is too much for those worms.
17/12/2005: Whohow! I got ranked at Alexa !!! Now their info is usually not al that correct, but so it is for all sites they list and their ranking system is therefore of certain value. And nooo that phone number you see there doesnt get u talking to me it is something from my server isp. Going back in time can prove rather interesting tho. And I also got the alexa toolbar, just so i can allways see the ranking of any site I enter, and compare it with my own. And everybody that goeth here shud get it too so my ranking increases !!! :D
14/12/2005: I am bored again and no i didnt say anything interesting later that day, lol. But today I'll tell you about the BEST mp3 download software at this moment: Soulseek. It is not ment for downloading mainstream music, not that visitors from this site care about that crap. Now you wonder why is this software so good. Well it is a bit like mIRC when u use it for downloading stuff, but better in many ways than using mIRC. Main thing is it is excellent for downloading full albums!!! But I shud say, try it and find out for yourself. Yes, you can also use it for downloading movies and other stuff than mp3s. And if ye feel like chatting you can find me in the Blackmetal and NSBM room usually calling people names and being an asshole in general >:-D.
11/12/2005: I am bored. But, maybe I'll say something more interesting later today, :-/
10/12/2005-VP or not so far this weekend sucks and I am in a bad mood. Yeah I suppose that is nothing new. Hey you know something if you keep telling yourself this over and over again, it might become your own very special truth sometime! LOL! Miracles and shit, i've had it with all of that. Fuck! Okay maybe this is not such a good time to be blogging.
4/12/2005-Later same day: OMFG!!! I had tears in my eyes from watching this little film on table etiquette for teenagers from 1945. I'm telling you this is totally fucking hilarious!!! That narrator is such a jerk! Really this is a total must see!!
4/12/2005:Airsoft warfare today. Nine kills in three games! And five of them during the first game only, without getting killed!! Ow yeah! I think my aim is better when I got a hangover, hahaha!! The two games after that i cudnt hit shit and then the rest of the day the games were cancelled 'coz of the bad weather (safety regulations, prevents people from breaking their legs on the rough terrain). I got the hangover from some concert i went to yesterday, and yeah it was fun too but nothing to go all mad about. Eureka! I got the javascript soundcode working again! I had sum error that fucked it all up and ye cudnt hear anything, but i found the problem, now it is just the tedious job of applying that shit all over the site :(
3/12/2005:Went to that "battlefield" thing in Leuven, well it was a nationalist protest march to be correct. And these marches often turn into some kind of battlefield between the political extreme left and extreme right, and ...the cops offcourse. So I, on the side of extreme right, was there and took some pictures and lil movies. I intend to write sum kinda article about it later, but meanwhile enjoy this little atmosphere setting movie, look especially at the amount of cops: movies/flikkeBeBArst05.MOV And they charge toward the lefties, héhéhé. Let them lefties shout "Fascists!" at us from jail or hospital, hahahaha!! Not like the cops are allways on our side, but them punkass lefties clearly outnumbered us.
I was suppose to go out yesterday, but i changed my mind. Tonight I will be at some concert, but I'l be home soon, 'coz i got airsoft warfare tomorrow.
30/11/2005:Friday to an <big phone and electronics company name censored for self interest ;-)> meeting to see if they can use a XPE computing element probably for their upcoming digibox, but then again why still use the digibox then? Anyway i must check it out, 'coz i really need a valid XPE application to work on. We must keep the companies and Microsoft and our college happy, lol. Had to do some scholarship shit aswell, it shud turn out fine as it did all those previous years. And tomorrow evening I might be at a "battlefield" in Leuven city to take sum pics.
27/11/2005:Why wud a jew girl wear a mjölnir!!!???? I saw one yesterday doing that, I don't get it, why? Really weird, it must be typical "Antwerpian" I suppose, 'coz the weirdness in our city is increasing exponentially it seems. And my gb and forum are underused, come join and say ur stuff!!! And yeah, this site is breaking records in visitor count, I even got more than last month and last month was the "halloween" month!!!
26/11/2005:YAY!!! It has snowed !!!!! Finally :-) I love snow!! Ok, it might not be the most comfortable of weather ...things. But I still love it :-). I must go outside pretty fucking soon to take pictures!! Ok, sumthing else now, that T. Burton fan I wud love to see that new T. Burton movie with you! So if ye can get sum time off, give me a call. I'm even that kinda good guy that pays fer the two tickets, so u got no excuse, héhé. Oh shit, ferget the "call" i got no phone anymore, well in that case mail then. Meanwhile i'll leave u bitches with my newest pic, it is in the "Angel of Death" style:
My injection will take away your pain, ...forever.
Yes, for those of you on myspace, this version here I have B/W tweaked close to perfection :-)
And to all Americans, u can stop wishing me a great Thanksgiving, I am Belgian we don't celebrate this holliday. But i still secretely appreciate it ;-).
21/11/2005:Tired, bored, freezing and in a bad mood! Thrives on cynicism and hatred, ...cleaning rifle. Valkyries, take me to Slain Hall. Losing my cell phone is just one of those things that contributed to my bad mood. So anybody, don't bother calling me. I feel like breaking bones! I'll be glad to do some fitness tomorrow to let some of this excess ANGER go. The only good thing this weekend was the 3 kills during a single game of an airsoft warfare simulation, and that ain't even THAT spectacular.
17/11/2005-later that day: WoW! I'm impressed with this vintage horror movie! Dementia, The Daughter of Horror, is a very dark movie with nothing but deranged nightlife and eerie music, sometimes accompanied by insane laughter as the only sound. Well ok it also has a narrator, he's the cool but funny part :-D. It is about a woman's insanity and insomnia.
17/11/2005:I uploaded a report in the Engineering section from the photoshop CS2 presentation I gave not so long ago, it is in dutch so all of you who dont understand that, just look at the pretty pictures, it features miss Gothness. It also seems during the transformation to a pdf some of the first pics seem to be fucked up. And this Bela Lugosi movie is quite hilarious! It features, Nazis, Japs, plastic surgery, conspiracies and Bela Lugosi trying not to be the classic dracula (and failing in that effort, lol).
16/11/2005:In a fit of productive selfpreservation of productivity (héhé dumb wordgame), I felt like putting some of my professional projects and work on this site. So if u have technical skills and like to see what kinda shit I do during the day, go to www.nephildevil.net/Engineering/ You will get into that folder. Some of that stuff is easy and understandable by most (some presentations), some other stuff is kinda advanced. Of the latter I especially like the Solarclock-project. It is a VHDL project of a clock that calculates the specific hours on different planets, the latest planets i made wil not work 'coz of a special L. DaVinci kinda trick I used to disable it's function. Some other things involve an AI C++ study/thing with code from Half-Life dev kit, I got also some C# exercises. And a Cyclone II presentation. What bothers me a little is that as it seems students going for a bachelor in electronics (in Antwerp) don't get VHDL. They are fucked 'coz nowaday it is all VHDL used in design!! What also bothers me is a lot of students in the IT sector get alot of VB instead of C/C++/C#, I wonder about the uses of VB too. And ...yeah i don't know when to quit, wonder why alot of IT students get all those scripting langs, that is no real programming but making websites look good, so that is the stuff they shud teach at marketing and so on, not in a technical student program. Anyway, this is probabbly the most annoying and boring blog entry i've ever written, ...erm. LOL! Before i forget, shud u wanna ask me anything on those files, most of them are old, so i've forgotten all the specifics i'm afrai, and it is not like they allways are in their final stages(like anything ever realy is). And probably am to busy doing new stuff or totally don't feel like figuring it out again to help you >:-D. Meanwhile Internet archive Wayback Machine, hahaaa!! Too bad it didn't found me in the beginning waay back, coz it first looked even more different and primitive than the first pic!
14/11/2005:At college we have this thing called e-week, with foreign lectures and company visits and all, kinda minor exciting. After hours, bored as fuck. I'm doing this adventure game called Myst IV, no action at all but it has a cool surreal world. And its puzzles are relaxing, they are a bit like IQ tests (so no jerking around with masses of dumb garbage like in some non-surreal adventure games). I wanted to play sum Counterstrike Source earlier (which does have action, lol) but my telenet connection is so fucked up and slow I die 'coz of lag!
13/11/2005: Ok, so i didnt went to that 'big thing' in the other city. Lets just say I didnt like the transport options. I stayed here in Antwerp. I ended up at some underground techno-hardcore party, which was kinda cool. Very agressive, extreme house. In contrary of what some old-timers might think, house and metal do go together. What doesnt mix is rap or RnB and metal. The kinda stuff jew MTV wants you to listen to, THAT is an abomination of aesthetics. Also it hurt to see sum girls with blacks, i tried to express my contempt, but to no avail, 'coz they offcourse did not have any selfrespect to begin with. Anyway, I did not have any intention to make this whole thing about racism, lol, but i still gotto say muslims who first harras a girl and then can't win a fight with her and resort to pulling a knife, shud be killed. They are not worthy of life. And drunk darts is kinda fun too, hahaha!
12/11/2005: I didn't plan anyting yesterday, and it seems there
was a vampire party. So naturally i went there. Got home at 7:45 or something
(am fuckers or i wud have written 19:45, thats how we do it in Europe!), and
i still got a headache (it is now 11:43). And today the big thing(a concert from
a guy i know, at least i think, but haven't figured out who it is yet, lol) seems
to be in another city, where i (and others) have to get by bus. I wonder if i
will go. I probably will, but why do i get that uneasy feeling i'll be waking
up under a tree again tomorrow, hahaha!!! Yeah, I'm almost sure of it. And the
weather is getting colder, and colder. Check out this pic made today: 
Yeah, I am a maniac with a knife, guess what I am gonna do to your pretty girl body... héhéhé!!
9/11/2005: Yay! My hand has sufficiently healed to do physical stuff I like again, k still wearing a glove for protection. Mosh i did again short before halloween, airsoft i did again this weekend and fitness i did again this week. It even seems I get sum of the money back in free exercise time if i can show a document with the date of the accident!
Through pain and battle, We will restore Our Blood heritage.
This pic seems to be attracting quite alot of attention on myspace, this is a slighty improvroved version of the one on myspace. Those with an account might notice. So aren't I cute? Lol, the americans seem to call me "a bad ass" in this pic. Psssst, fer a good joke, try 'leave' on my intro page ->uglypeople.com hahah!!
3/11/2005: I'm in the process of astrally infraconscious provocing of masturbations and studying headless cloning system principles!! LoL! jk. But it is in there somewhere I suppose >:-D
1/11/2005: Ok, I'm again naked while blogging this, and I'm not gonna make a habit out of it, lol. Yesterday halloween, one of the rare occasions my brother got outside ('coz of that damn wife of his ...hi Donna ;-) héhé). So I naturally stayed in his close vicinity. And he got my full attention, well allmost, some girl also got my attention waiving at me and all. Hey if ur reading this ...call me ... I know u got my number somewhere, and if yer not too shy to get my attention like that at the party, then ur not to shy to call either, ...I presume. Otherwise, it might be some time untill u can get my attention again, héhé. First I must eat some of my bone and pumpkin soup, err, no, first I must shower, haha. Then eat some soup and in good annual habits, visit a deceased relative, whom I respected a lot. And I need to clear my mind too :-s.
30/10/2005: Don't laugh but I'm naked while writing this. Yeah, I know theres better things to do while being naked. And noooo, I'm not gonna include a picture, haha. It is offcourse 'coz of the businesscards but this month is the most successfull month ever, for nephildevil.net!! Those cards and who knows, halloween too? Halloween-month is traditionally the month all dark sites, like mine, get the most attention. Also it seems I am the worst judge of character this month, lol. Last weekend I misjudged some girl a little. And yesterday, some guy was gonna be my transport, and I lost him too. But then again, I don't remember te last band that played yesterday, so who knows where I was? Anyway after that concert I found a nice spot under some tree to sleep. You know what? Nothing beats sleeping under a bare starlit sky anyway! If you haven't done that, do so as soon as ye can! Soon it is halloween, I am prepared.
23/10/2005: BORING! - That is the word to describe this weekend. Friday I went ot for like two or three hours and the returned home, coz it was so pathetically boring. Saturday was suppose to be some concert with lots of ppl and stuff happening. Didn't turn out that great. Everybodry swallowed tranquillizers or something it seemed, boooring!! But the again I think I rather have a boring weekend than having the shit of sum ppl I know. A friend of mine didn't have his best night (yeah major understatement) and I had to hold him back from attacking four innocent guys (at once). And some girl from another city I said I was gonna help got kicked in a hospital. Guess my 'contacts' in that city were of no help at all :-(. Girl (lets stay anonymous) if you are reading this, I'm very sorry for my misjudgement.
16/10/2005:
Arg fullmoonmadness got me again!!!
And I seem to have lost a whole bunch of clothes this weekend too, lol.
Or maybe i just shudn't have drunk that vodca-redbull, haha!! Ah well, glory to the Xul!
15/10/2005:
Vampire
Parties in Belgium, Antwerp rule!!
Chix and guys with gasmasks!
Schoolgirls in uniform, leashed on a chain!
Nazi warfare inspired music!
Yep Antwerp, here, is the place to be :-[
13/10/2005: I've got the gravest insomnia episodes this week,
yes I can't sleep :-(. It is probably a mix of reasons that causes it, no exercise
being one of them. Damn fucking hand looks somewhat healed, but isn't yet. Fuck
I am restless, I hate this. If it gets really out of hand, healthwise, I got
the strongest sleeping pills ever. But I don't want to use them. Fuck pills.
Fuck it all. Agh, I shud prob go out and get me a girl to play with. I bet that'll
help me sleep. If i'm not too tired for that, lol. And cookingforengineers.com
hahaha, shit i'm certainly too tired for this.
11/10/2005: I've changed the pic on the intro page a little, made it look more 'ashy' in colour. But expect more toying around with it, coz I'm still not satisfied with it :/ Oh yes, THE worst gore internet movie I ever saw: here. Warning, don't watch while eating. And i don't host this one myself, so i hope it stays a while. Also, I suppose you have allready seen the new chinese aborted baby-eating pics email too. That also is some of the worst shit I ever saw, lol. Being shocked can be such a rush sometimes, haha! If you haven't seen it yet mail me, still got it somewhere.
09/10/2005: This guy, who knows Morte Sinesteria (akhkharu Lilith) intimately, so to speak, lol. Asked if he cud do something with my old noise tryout, in a musical thing of himself. Now he made me fucking curious, hahaha. I'll let u guys know if it becomes something.
02/10/2005: I can't get that goddamn comments thing working on that sunny summer tombstones gallery/slideshow! :( Agh, maybe i'll redo it without the bad comment shit :/ If you wanna see more of my pics (mostly regular, non dark ones) visit me on fotofights.com. I'm getting into it :D. Anyway, sign my gb or visit my forum or something, cuz it is getting quiet here! I know u lazy fuckers are visiting my site, I see it on my stats.
29/09/2005: I made a fine slideshow from a visit to the "Schoonselhof" cemetery. I still have to add comments and title the images (which apart from taking the pics is the fun part). You can see it here. This weekend I can't go out dammit, don't ask me why.
23/09/2005: Ik heb een Vlaams gedeelte gemaakt op mijn forum. Ik was dat eigenlijk al lang van plan, maar das er nog ni van gekomen, tot nu. Mijn site is in het Engels, door het internationaal karakter dat deze taal heeft tegenwoordig. I made a flemish section on my forum, I was planning to for a long time, but it didn't happen till now.
22/09/2005: I was bored so i'm gonna give u this: 
It is my chest, and I like knives, hahaha!!! (pic taken with me old cell) And
tell u this: Don't watch: "She lives by night" = worst vampire movie
ever!!!!!!!
21/09/2005: I uploaded some new songs to replace the dimmu borgir song you hear a few times too many on the poetry pages. The wolfman myth is still popular today -- we still hear how a full moon can bring out the crazies. Albert Fish, the notorious cannibal killer of children, was called the "Werewolf of Wisteria," and enjoyed dancing naked in the full moon. Other lunar lunatics include Ed Gein, who also frolicking in the moonlight, dressed in his mothersuit made from the skin of women. From http://www.crimelibrary.com, hahaha! I cudn't resist adding this after that short 3 day lunacy period last weekend. Makes me desire a next fullmoon :-). Diabolical Occult Lunacy is fun, while it has a clear end in sight. 20/09/2005: Had quite a hectic and long weekend, which I'll just for sake of easyness contribute to short lived lunacy. And yeah literally, coz it were the fullest and brightest fullmoons of the year. You might have noticed the new intro picture, I may let it that way, or I might change that later too. It is kinda cool to see "tastes" written just above those tombs. Don't you agree? I also added a new titelbar, also possibly subject to more change.
15/09/2005:
I bought a new digital camera yesterday!!! You can read all about it on myspace(on the smoking blog), now I allmost feel ashamed of my old pics. Especially the the graveyard ones, used fer the Fertilis Sepulchr(a)i slideshows 1 and 2. But hey, what can I say, I might be an engineer of sum kind, but everybody needs to keep up with the times and technology !!! I see it happen to ppl I've known for many years, they can't keep up with modern technology. Most of you who read this are, I suppose, young ppl, well then look at old ppl who can't keep up with the modern world. Don't be like that, ...whatever your age.
If you get that, ...fucking stick to it! :-D. And it'll still be a long way to radiation of Darkly Divine Enlightened Vampiric ...whatever you get the drift ;-).
And expect sum fucking new cemetry pics (dare i say) soon !!! And maybe even abandoned building pics too, if i can find one :/
11/09/2005:
Something a pal of me made, made me remember sum noize stuff i made a couple of years ago. I converted the cd to mp3s, and offer them here to download! I must warn you guys, i call it "noize" for a reason, hahaha! Ey, and wanna see sum ultra cool abandoned hospital/asylum pics? Check out this site www.nyctophobia.net, I just hope they hurry up a bit, 'coz I think that shit is breathtaking! Anyway, there more abandoned building sites out there.
10/09/2005:
I'm working on those Iframes, hoping the site will be easier to read. Let me know if it is an improvement. Also these are the guys on whose gig I got injured, say hi to them from me.
05/09/2005: 1.53 AM
"As a student Mengele attended the lectures of Dr. Ernst Rudin, who posited not only that there were some lives not worth living, but that doctors had a responsibility to destroy such life and remove it from the general population." from www.crimelibrary.com in an article on Dr. Mengele. That is so cold, and yeah it makes sense too. The genetically weak and deformed cripple their descendands, spreading their weakness and suffering like cancer. Infact it might even be vunerability to cancer itself. Offcourse, we do have friendlier birthcontrol methods nowadays. Enforcing them is another thing I suppose :-/ .
Talking about doctors, I allmost lost (the function of) my left hand coz of a very serious cut. Luckily, it cut allmost completely through the mscle, but left my finger motoric functions intact. Gore, blood and pain, the rush of pure horror. If u wanna read more check the myspace link.
24/08/2005: 2.38 AM
I shud get more posts on the forum, otherwise ppl have no reason at all to enter (Xcept to show ur sympathy ;-) lol).
Now i was gonna say sumthing else, but the wine bet me b4 it i think :/ And it got fruitflies it it, yhuk. They fly into the bottle and can't get out. Maybe i shud drink from teh bottle and try to get as many as i can. Especially the living ones, I'll Renfield the lil shits!!
18/08/2005: 2.22 AM
I'm messing a bit with a new forum, go check it out!!
And what I said b4 abot shutting the website down. I changed my mind, and paid for another two years of uptime!
I also registred at myspace.com. I don't fucking know why. ...Well, maybe to see girl pics, lol.
15/08/2005:
I've been a bit bored, and got studying up on xp embedded and C#. The whole .NET thing seems to be quite powerfull.
Imagine a website in asp.net with implemented C# directX-code.
I've also been playing archspace, trying to build an evil galactic empire, lol.
I've also made a new
pic, and messed wif it in photoshop, but it sux. Judge fer urselves, but methinks
i'll have to do it again.
I've also spend sum time boozing in bars, cant believe two weeks passed so soon :-(.
29/07/2005:
I've been quite occupied playing counterstrike source lately:
I think u can see why, lol.
And here is me wif my airsoft gun, and yes I also use it as a spray in css:
10/07/2005:
An old saying :
The Pope to the King "Keep the people poor then I keep them dumb"
This agreement was the beginning of the, so called, "DARK AGES" and
should last for 1,000 years. In this period there was nearly no progress in the
evolution of the " lower" citizens of Europe and the Nobles and Popes
were only fighting and murdering each other to gain power.
Got this quote from: http://www.earth-history.com/Europe/ancient-europe.htm
Why? I dunno tawt it sounded cool :-)
9/07/2005:
To distress from exams i went to the cityparade MEEEEEEEEGGAAAA rave, (neglect the doofey message) two weeks ago. And yesterday i went celebrating my good exam results and ended up at a local goth vampireparty (their site is broken right now but it should have a lot of pics from sexy pale ravenhaired goth chix dancing :p, a guy with camera told me). And yeah apart from boozing i was just staring at them babes.
I've also taken up airsoft, it is like playing pc first person shooter games but you run around with a real gun that shoots plastic bullets.
And i've also taken an interest in the demoscene, no not gamedemos but little pieces of realtime code art. Check out the site if u dont know what i mean.
20/05/2005: 02:31 am
Something about the real date tonight depresses me while I write this. I'll stay obscure on this and change subject.
What is the nature of a dark soul, if u want to call it like that?
Is it to realise there is nothing but yourself and the wills of others or elementals, that what might stand in the way of your goals?
Is it the true quality of perseverance until you dance on the corpses of your enemies.
Is it the true quality of dancing on the corpses of just anybody, because it happens to be enjoyable?
Anyway, its been a long time since I had the pleasure of scrying my inner blackness. It has become a luxury these days.
Something cold and dark is grasping for my throat, the beating of my hearth at this moment of my writing. Thats why i decided to write something new, in this cursed site of mine. I have plans of pulling it down, maybe in the summer, maybe not. The amount of traffic on his site is rising, even if i update or not. With eyes on an outerly vision, and an inner coldness that seems warm as if fed by fiery endurement that has become a second dormant nature. I wonder where i am heading. Maybe the likes of me can only find comfort in glowing states of being, those areas we tend to avoid. Avoid in fear of waking. Waking the unreal creations, spawned by what we became...
I know i am not making any sense now, but still. Still i will go on, this is an inner conversation, héhé. This night is becoming solid, the past never leaves me, years of grinding my soul, never alone. It gnaws and tears in trancendance, but to succomb would be a step back. So am i at the wrong place one might think, place or time? That might be a hard question, if it wasnt hypothetical. But at this moment of self reflection, We ( ;-) ) are no place, have no time. At least that is how i'd like to see it. And life goes on...
Life does go on, do i make progress? Sure i realise my goals, the goals of the time. Time in itself is a factor which in truth cannot, ever be denied. The more time we spend in hell, the more it becomes part of us, and yeah that is exactly what is happening. And i descend, even while the stress of bright sunshine clashes with the inner sleeping hollow shadow of past denied apocalypses. It is all subjective you know.
And yeah, i know when i read this tomorrow it doesnt even make sense to me, this brainstorm im writing. Hard to imagine anyone else reading this shit, but that is besides the point again. Even talking to myself just for the hell of doing it can be a better waste of time than ...other shit. Actually im boring myself now with this useless speech.
The more "daily" activities do leave me with a sense of purpose. So im off, being grim somewhere else.
7/02/2005:
If you understand dutch, visit this girl's site consider buying her book:
Als je nederlands verstaat ga dan naar deze site en overweeg om dit meisje haar boek te kopen:
http://spaces.msn.com/members/natashahemelrijks2/
14/09/2004:Temple of the Vampire
I've visited their site, just to see what they're upto nowadays. And it is just like i said it was gonna be, they've invented another rule (law) which their poor followers must obey. They have four now, when I first came to know them it was only one or so. I wonder when they get to ten will they carve them into stone and lead their chosen through some deserts, split some seas and etc. Is their aspiration to become the jews of the future or what? In their 'chosen' arrogance, they sure seem to act like them. Main difference in gross behaviour is probably they are polytheistic and women are equal to men. Allmost only in germanic culture was woman equal to man, just think of the mighty eeri Valkyries soaring above battlefields.
Ah well I'm deviating, whatever. Some ppl like to be told what and what not to do, and are even willing to pay for that, beats me.
On contrary of what their PR-department wants you to believe the ToV seems to be a test in gullibility and submission. If you have these "qualities", then you can go to their version of heaven and become an immortal vampire, BUT should you sin against these "qualities", then you've blown your chance to heaven and go to hell (scientific death). Offcourse like any good religion only they tell the truth and it means you can't go to "heaven" somewhere else or in any other manner. The more you like being told what to do, the more a slave you are. Who is really running the show. I better quit talking on this subject or I'll be trashing the Church of Satan next, guess you see the link.
Ah well like I said, I am deviating again.
27/08/2004:
Now that I can enjoy the prospect of a little bit more free speech I slightly altered the Hitler&Satanism page.
And I've made a new map called articles/rants to organise things a bit more.
26/08/2004:
Blasthornoxx.com is online!!! Go have a look, first I used simple redirect, but now I gave it and index page.
25/08/2004:
The conversion did not go without struggle however, when the Anglo-Saxon bishop Bonifatius (whose real name was Wynfrith) tried to convert the Frisians in 754AD, he chopped down a holy tree dedicated to Wodan to show the heathens that their god did not protect his tree and thus did not exist; the Frisians became so angry that Bonifatius had to flee being chased by the entire village, at the city of Dokkum Bonifatius was caught and as a last resort he held the bible over his head and asked his god to protect him; nothing happened and he was killed by the Frisians who probably laughed over this irony.
Hahaha! Stuff like this makes me laugh. The Frisians still live North of here in the Netherlands and they are cool. (You won't often here a dutch language speaking fellow say this btw.)
Anyway this site(Reginheim) is a must visit! (A little warning this site tries to be objective, and quite nicely succeeds in it. Except he often says the Nazis misused this and that, while they were the only ones who actually acknowledged those things f.e. Dietschland)
24/08/2004: BLASTHORNOXX.COM
A friendly chap showed up offering me his web services should I get into trouble because of my dependance on "freedom of speech". In case you people don't know yet, in Europe especially freedom of speech is NOT the case. But it is slowly recovering in value.
Anyway soon you can also reach this site through the DN www.blasthornoxx.com, I might have other plans for that DN later on.
01:11am 05/08/2004: National-Technocratic Capitalism:
The political situation in Belgium is so fucked up some polititians should retire permanently, too bad I live in a land of cowards. This got me going to write about an idea of mine.
Maybe the world is ripe for something new.
Nationalism, if you want to rule a country you need nationalism. Why, simple you want the leader(s) to care for the country/people in question. Otherwise the ruler(s) are just selfish corrupt assholes (which would be ok in all cases except when ruling a country).
That is the 'N' of Nationalism.
Technocracy, if you need ministers, you need to choose your ministers wisely. This means ppl who now what the problems are of what they represent. To simplify; you don't want a butcher to be minister of education, what you need is a teacher. Another example; you don't want an ex pub owner to be minister of roadworks either, you want an ex-bridge engineer.
I think by now you get the picture, this is the 'T' of technocracy.
Everybody has heard of National Socialism by now, lets just drop the socialism .
And replace it by capitalism. I am convinced hard work needs to be rewarded, and what better place to spend your money than in a totally free economic system? You've gotto have wits to get currency, thats obvious so some people will allways be poor. This is just survival of the fittest, if you haven't got it in you, maybe its your genes ...but thats another thing.
Thats the 'C' of Capitalism.
This makes for NTC.
Anybody with me?
Remember you can allways say your comments in the guestbook
approx 24/07/2 004: Nietzschian Nihilism & amorality & ideologies:
If you don't know what Nietzschian Nihilism is I suggest you first visit this excellent site : http://www.iep.utm.edu/n/nihilism.htm .
Ok, before you wanna go medieval on my ass for preaching or discussing philosophy: Nihilism is antiphilosophy.
I still dislike useless philosophysing, when there are better things to do.
What is Nietzschian Nihilism to me? Nihilism as I see it, is the belief in nothingness. Nature, reality is just reality; and reality just is. Reality has no purpose, no goal.There was no plan, no design, no gods, no heaven, no hells. No better for worse, no just to wrong. In reality, in absoluteness.
Furthermore, it depends how exalted we are how absolute we perceive this reality. In truth no human has an absolute experience in reality, only a relative one. The more exalted we are the colder our realty feels, as there is no truth.
But isn't all of this a little pessimistic, somewhat depressing?
No; Here comes the Nietzsche part, Nietzsche had an idea he called the übermensch What Nietzsche exactly ment with his übermensch idea, is rather vague and unclear. But my opinion on it is thus: An übermensch is someone with a greater absolute perception of the whole, but still has (against the overwhelming dark force of nihilism) a personal set of idea(s)ologies. And this übermensch uses His über (absolute) perception of reality in order to accomplish his personal goals. This needless to say requires a strong will (translate: stubborness).
I think most of you reading this are slowly getting the picture. An übermensch is naturally rebellious against all freedom limiting religions, and just about anyone who desires to purposely bend the path, the übermensch has chosen toward his personal goals. Because quite obviously none, NONE have valid reason to. As again there is nothing(<--nihilism) to the übermensch but his own ideals of choice. And if he wasn't (yet)an übermensch there was simply nothing at all, he could just sit and watch the grass grow for all he cares.
As with all my rants, I hope this clarifies something to you guys, instead of adding up to the mysteries.
And eh ...don't let cynism put you off, there is still lot of interesting stuff worth fighting/working/suffering for.
I also hope you see the difference between ordinary self-deceit and creative power an übermensch has, the application of advanced principles induces creation by the übermensch conform to his ideologies and personalty. In other words, He does not bend to a false god but becomes the only possibility of a consious creator in absolute realty.
20/07/2 004: later same day(night):
I deleted a lot of shit on the links page, still needs sum work but it is a slight improvement.
20/07/2 004:
I had quite a busy time lately, but lots of spare time now. I've also bought a nice (expensive) acer laptop and will be continuing this site with that piece of fine equipment. I also have to tell ya peeps I need to move soon (physically, not the site) and so it just might happen that I (again the person not the site, lol) will be offline and unable to work on the site as a consequence.
I archived a mayor part of this (b)log you can see it at old log 2. It was about time i did this.
28/05/2004:
Now what did I tell you back on 2/12/2003?
Check log for date
or
Ain't I the coolest soothsayer? I bet 20th century fox had a visit to my site, lol.
19/05/2004:
What have I been upto? stuff.
Payment, are the words of the mad, the words of prophets? Sick genius bitch raping non-conformative unreal provocative nihilist anti-theistic bastard literal mayhem?
Or was I simply not there?
I should do a lot of internal reorganising on this site, like my links for example.
Meanwhile enjoy this masterful site: http://www.shootingiron.com/chamber/church/church.htm
16/03/2004:
Having some connection troubles lately (downloading too many gigs of anime broke my cable modem or something, lol if this was the reason).
It seems the impalement vid on the Dracula page is a fake, some kind of re-enactment. It is supposed to be filmed by one guy with a camera, not five guys with camera's or whatever. Judge for jourself, here.
11/03/2004:
Been working hard again made these new pages for the wappers:
(if you see no image it is because your browser does not support .wbmp files, these pages are for the WAPbrowsers, remember!) They are a conversion of existing pages with the usual .jpg for IE explorer etc. I've heard opera supports .wbmp too but I'm not sure, else you might try the emulator link below.)
I also added a new buffy fanfic pdf on the Anita page(<---not WAP version)
I've also done a major cleanup and reordering of files, so if something isn't there (I mean for example a Flash that doesn't show, tell me where and I'll fix it.). I need to do this 'coz the site is getting too large to be unordered. You know if I can't figure out any longer what is where on my own site, nobody can, lol.
10/03/2004:
Like promised an art page for occult Photoshop artist Deafening-Silence.
I also added a number of prose files (rantings,lol):
The New Ice Age (Ragnarök!)
Carbon666-SatanicMysticism.
SpaceProgram
Hitler&Satanism
also accessible for wappers. I still need to add some specific pictures and sounds to them.